


Final Thanksgiving 7: B Side

by salvainterra



Series: Craigslistverse [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Aerith's Completely Reasonable Destructive Tendencies, Aerti, Aerti Week 2018, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous Relationships, Comedy, Craigslist AU, F/F, background Cloud/Zack, hence tifa's lesbian BSOD, you know aerith is bi because she actually flirts when she likes somebody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 16:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15777729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvainterra/pseuds/salvainterra
Summary: While Zack and Cloud were off getting drunk and fucking up a dinner party, Aerith busied herself with a little good old-fashioned revenge. Along the way, she made some new friends with shared experiences, and spontaneously hired a cute new bodyguard. Now the only thing to do was get her number, of course.One shot companion to Final Thanksgiving 7 for Aerti Week, because I love these girls and support their willful destruction of the establishment.





	Final Thanksgiving 7: B Side

**Author's Note:**

> might wanna take a click back and read the first installment of Final Thanksgiving 7, or this will feel like even more of a clusterfuck than it already is. enjoy!

 

“Thanks so much for your help, Miss Gainsborough!”

 

Aerith smiled easily, passing over the last of the large sandwich platters with one hand. The volunteer director grunted as he took on the full weight of it, giving her an impressed look. She flexed one arm in jest, eliciting a laugh from the man. 

 

“It’s no trouble at all, I’m happy to lend a hand. Are you sure--?”

 

“Yes!” the director interrupted, looking exasperated. “Yes, sweetheart, your mother will have me by the balls if I let you take over any more of these charity functions! Go out, spend time with your friends, enjoy being young!” 

 

Aerith laughed as she was stubbornly guided back to the exit, conceding with a smile. “Alright, alright. I’ll see you for the next one, then.” 

 

The director waved her off, and turned back to continue setting up the event. She hummed to herself as she made her way back to the car. Zack was already off at that Shinra event she’d weaseled out of, and Kunsel was out working for most of the day. She had the day to herself, really. 

 

What to do...

 

She spent the next hour baking, relishing in not having to defend her freshly-baked treats from her two ravenous college-age housemates. By the time she pulled off her chocobo-themed oven mitts, her phone had buzzed quite a few times. Since it was just the frog sound effect of Zack’s text tone, and thus not an emergency, she had let it sit until now. 

 

Settling herself on the couch, she opened up her recent message. It looked like Zack was texting the housemates chat with the three of them in it, entitled ‘Do the Fucking Dishes, Zack’. 

  
  


**1st Class Best Friend:** aer he has a DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!    
  
**1st Class Best Friend sent FENRIRRRR.jpg**

 

**1st Class Best Friend:** PLS look at this dog

 

**1st Class Best Friend:** HES SEPHIROTHS EX IM LIKE 80% SURE 

 

**1st Class Best Friend:** hang on i think hes going to try to kill h   
  
**1st Class Best Friend:** brb

 

**Kunsel (in jail for blanket-hogging crimes):** Zack. What?

 

**Kunsel (in jail for blanket-hogging crimes):** Is this still that date with the ‘possible organ harvester’? Is he trying to steal Sephiroth’s organs.

 

**1st Class Best Friend:** n

 

**1st Class Best Friend:** y

 

**1st Class Best Friend:** maybe.

  
  


Aerith muffled a laugh. It sounded like a fun party! She was already looking forwards to when Zack recounting the events. She turned her phone off without replying, instead wandering back into the kitchen and opening the fridge to check on her chilling chocolate cookie dough. As she did, an inconspicuous plastic baggie caught her eye. She picked it up and hummed, consideringly.

 

“Hm… I suppose this is as good a time as any to run that errand!”   

 

***

 

One packed bag and a few phone calls later, Aerith stepped off the bus to stand in front of the Shinra building, tucked into a comfortable outfit that just so happened to also be very nondescript and covering, hiding most of her identifying characteristics.

 

She made her way into the crowded lobby area without any trouble. There seemed to be some kind of uproar going on in the VIP section, going by the several glitter-covered Turks that were fleeing the scene, presumably for reinforcements. Good thing she wasn’t heading in there! 

 

As she eyed the room, planning out her route, she offhandedly ladled some punch into a red plastic cup. She took a long drink, noting the man across from her doing the same. She smiled at him. “It would taste better with some fruit juice, huh?” 

 

Instead of responding, the man staggered, and then collapsed onto the floor, causing a ripple of alarm to spread through the crowd. What a shame! Guess some people weren’t a fan of that much alcohol. 

 

Aerith pressed her lips together sympathetically and then finished off her cup before heading for the bathrooms. It seemed that the punch really was a little strong, since most of the people in there were trying not to puke or failing. 

 

It made it incredibly easy for her to unscrew and slip into the vents unnoticed, so she certainly wasn’t complaining. She made her way through the vents, crawling lightly as to not make too much noise. She paused every so often to check her route on the blueprints that Biggs had sent to her. She had memorized them before ever entering the building, of course, but it was better safe than sorry!

 

Slowly but surely, she made her way through the vent system until she came to an entrance where she could see a familiar room through the slats. She opened up her messages, ignoring the unread ones from Zack panicking about glitter and chandeliers and… cloaks? She shook her head in amusement, opening up Jesse’s contact and typing out her message to give the signal.

  
  


**Flower Girl:** ready when you are! ^u^

 

**Tech Specialist:** Alright!!! The cameras are looped…. 

 

**Tech Specialist:** Now! You’ve got thirty minutes!

 

That done, she quickly kicked out the vent opening, sliding down and lowering herself until she was only a few feet from the ground. She let go, her feet hitting the linoleum with an indiscreet smack. The air had a lingering smell of formaldehyde, and she turned with a flourish, surveying the completely empty main labs of the Science Department. 

 

She pulled her favorite parasol from where it had gone unnoticed tucked into her elbow as she passed through security, admiring the soft pink frills along the side of it. Maybe one of her bo staffs would have worked better for this, but they were a little more conspicuous. It was a good thing she had recently gotten her umbrella reinforced with carbon steel! 

 

With that thought in mind, she reached up to the safety glasses perched on top of her head, and flicked them down to cover her eyes. Safety first! That done, she swiftly turned to the most expensive-looking gear there, and raised her umbrella aloft with an easy smile. 

 

Thirty minutes was plenty of time.

 

***

 

A good four-fifths into her total destruction of the labs, Aerith was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat gruffly behind her. She paused in her overhead motion, having been just about to bring her umbrella down on the latest set of test tubes. That was odd. She’d made very sure that the labs would be empty at this time, since only Hojo was dedicated enough to hole himself up in his private lab while an elaborate banquet full of free food was being served. 

 

Luckily, when she turned around, her parasol still hefted aloft, it wasn’t a bewildered techie of questionable morals.

 

It was a tall, dark-haired man draped in a tattered red cloak, with questionable gold adornments, instead. With one arm, he was supporting a dazed teenager with masses of red hair and what seemed to be a tail, and his other arm was lifted aloft with a large handgun pointed directly at her. 

 

She looked at the both of them for a moment, taking in the man’s luminescent eyes and the bold 13 inked into the boy’s arm. Oh! Well, then…

 

She lowered the parasol and rolled up one of her sleeves in slow movements, so as not to spook the stranger. Once it was pulled up past her elbow, the tiny white scars pockmarking her skin were visible for them all to see. It was a gift, a reveal from one former experiment to another. They were similar. The man lowered his gun, safety still blatantly off. Aerith smiled brightly.

 

“Hello! Here to dismantle Shinra from the inside out also?” she asked cheerily, balancing her parasol on one shoulder. After a moment’s pause, he nodded, stiff. 

 

“Great! Three heads are better than one, and all that. Cameras are on a loop for the next,” she checked her watch, “ten minutes, don’t worry about taking them out. Give me just a moment to leave a parting gift and I’ll head out with you!” 

 

Aerith swiftly made her way over to the older section of the lab, finding the corner where the edge of the floor was cracked and bent, leaving a gap that she had noticed many years ago, when this was an oft-visited site for her. It was still unpatched, probably due to the constant misappropriation of funds towards inhumane experimentation on unwilling victims. Just a guess.

 

She pulled a few handfuls of dirt out of her jacket pocket, building up a layer thick enough for her purposes. Once that was done, it was simple to pull her specially-cared for specimens from her bag, and tuck them gently into the dirt. She coaxed the little mushrooms to take root, and thrive and flourish where one would call it impossible. Since they were already nearing maturation when she put them on ice, it wouldn’t be long before they began to release their spores into the room unseen. 

 

“A little safety measure,” she informed the cloaked man, who hadn’t asked. “We’ll see how much Hojo can get done on tracking intruders when him and all his staff are suffering from intense fevers and hallucinations!” She smiled beatifically. 

 

”...Unfortunately, I have already ensured that Hojo won't be getting anything done for… ever.” The man clicked the safety back onto his gun very conspicuously. Aerith frowned.

 

“For ever?” 

 

“For ever,” he intones, solemnly. 

 

“Boo!” Aerith sighed, disappointed. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied with all his staff being completely incapacitated. This whole area will be unusable for months anyhow, with the equipment malfunctioning, and the strange and mysterious spread of hallucinogens.” 

”Strange and mysterious indeed.” He watched as Aerith tucked her instruments of chaos away, before speaking again. “I need to get this child out of here. Are you finished?”

 

They both ignored the teenager mutter something that sounded like, “I am one  _ thousand  _ years old.” 

 

”How polite!” Aerith linked arms with Vampire Man’s gun arm. “Yes I am, let’s get out of here before the cameras reboot.”

 

She led the way back into the vents, navigating with the ease that came with more-or-less memorizing super illegal blueprints. She wasn’t sure how Vampire Man was dragging a whole person while also keeping up with her, but it sure was convenient!

The quickest exit was the presentation room, but when she arrived at the vent grate to it, she was forced to pause. There was a dark-haired woman below in an incredibly cute suit, complete with stylish tie, leaning against a display case with exhaustion. 

 

Next to her, the end of a tranq rifle was slowly being poked out of the vent opening. How did he even assemble that in there? “Hold on, hold on!” she held an arm out, preventing him from taking the shot. 

 

“She’s cute! I’ve totally got this one.” 

 

Before he could respond, she pushed the grate out and hopped down from the vent, making sure to muffle the sound of her fall in the large hall. She paused, taking a moment to dust off her dress and readjust her ribbon before walking up, a bounce in her step.

 

“Hello!” she said, with a friendly smile. The woman bolted upright, surprised, and Aerith giggled. “Sorry to startle you!” 

 

”No, no, it's fine, I was just… um, I didn’t think any of the guests were allowed back here?” The woman tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, uncertain. Aerith was enthralled. 

 

“I’m not a guest, just wandering! Are you presenting here?”

“Yes, actually.” The woman smiled shyly, and then gestured to a display at one wall. Aerith moved to look closer, peering at the variety of foods and drink that have been set out, as well as entertainment tech. “I’m trying to get a sponsor for my bar, though I’m not sure how my presentation was received. It’s going to be called Seventh Heaven.” 

 

Aerith’s eyes widened in surprise, and then delight. “Oh my goodness, are you Tifa?”

 

“...Yes, how did you know?” she said, suddenly wary. 

 

“I’ve heard all about you from Barret! We’re probably going to be working together at some point!” 

 

Tifa’s eyes lit up in realization. “Wait, so  _ you’re _ \-- you’re the Flower Girl?”

 

Aerith nodded brightly. “That’s me! It’s so nice to meet you.” 

 

“What-- I mean, you too, of course, but what are you doing here? Isn’t it dangerous?” 

 

“Oh! That’s right.” Aerith turned to the vent across the room. “Come on out, Vampire Man! She’s with us!” 

 

There was a moment of silence, and then-- “My name is Vincent.” The man grumbled as he hoisted first the teen and then himself down to the floor. 

 

“Nice to meet you! I’m Aerith!” She turned to Tifa expectantly.

 

“I’m… Tifa. You knew that. Look, I don’t mean to bring the mood down, but shouldn’t you be a bit more… discreet?” She looked around, nervous. 

 

“I’m perfectly discreet,” Aerith assured her with a wink, and Tifa stared at her for a moment, before sighing and scooping something up off the ground. She held it up, displaying the ziploc baggie with Aerith’s smooth handwriting on it in bold sharpie: “HALLUCINATORY SPORES ZACK DONT EAT” 

 

Aerith grinned, and shoved it into her bag. 

 

“Do you even have back up? A plan? A  _ gun?”  _

 

“I have a parasol,” Aerith offered, and then gestured to Vincent. “And him!” 

 

Tifa gave her a deeply unimpressed look. “You’re going to get yourself killed.” 

 

“Aw, are you worried?” Aerith teased gently, and Tifa flushed. “Maybe I should just hire you as my bodyguard, then. I’m sure you could keep me safe.”   

 

“That’s not-- Aerith!” She said, flustered. Aerith spared a moment to think that she liked the way her name sounded in Tifa’s mouth, before giving her a boisterous smile worthy of Zack himself. 

 

“C’mon, I’ll even pay you with,” she held a finger out, “one date.”

Tifa buried her face in her hands, pink up to her ears. Before she could regather her composure enough to respond, an alarm began to resound throughout the building, echoing in the empty hall. Vincent cocked his gun, and Aerith glanced at the entrance of the showroom, wondering if someone had already discovered her hard work. Tifa looked between them, before setting her shoulders. “Screw it, the presentations are over anyhow. This way. I’ve got an exit, but I hope to hell that you guys have a getaway driver!” 

 

She sure didn’t! Aerith gave Vincent a meaningful look as they followed Tifa down a stairwell, and he nodded, once. “We sure do!” 

 

“Good!” Tifa flung open a fire exit, and quickly began lowering the ladder for the fire escape, descending it in sharp, fluid movements almost before it was fully extended. Aerith took a moment to admire her biceps and then slid down the ladder, bypassing the horizontal rungs entirely. Tifa caught her just before her momentum could give her a rough landing, and she gave her an exasperated look. Aerith grinned back, cheekily. 

 

Above them, Vincent jumped straight down to the ground, making them both wince and break apart. He appeared no worse for wear, and straightened to lead them around the corner. Aerith considered asking him if he has bones. Removing bones seems like a thing Hojo would do. They passed the exit casually, and Aerith watched curiously as people streamed through the doors, either complaining or screaming. Or both. 

 

She turned to Tifa, who was watching a pair on a familiar motorcycle depart. “Something wrong?”

“No, just thought I saw… it’s nothing.” She shook her head. “What’s going on in there, anyhow?” 

 

There seemed to be some sort of flying insects attacking the guests as they fled, shielding their heads from the angry assault.

 

Soon enough, Vincent pulled out of a back alley in a black minivan, the automated doors sliding open. “Get in.” 

 

They moved to climb in, and just as the doors were closing, Aerith spotted a dot moving through the air close enough to discern. 

 

“Huh,” She said, curious. “Bees.” 

 

***

 

Vincent drove in silence, apparently content to give them both a getaway ride in his incredibly shady vehicle for their help. Aerith spent a lot of the ride chatting amicably with Tifa, ever so slowly sliding closer throughout the ride. Tifa noticed it early on, but said nothing, so Aerith continued until they were leg to leg, talking all the way. 

 

Before she could continue her array of smooth moves, Vincent slowly parallel parked on the street outside her house. Wonder how he knew her address. Before she could thank him and move to pull open the door, he turned and said, “Be right back. I have to go give someone the shovel talk.” 

 

Aerith watched him as he stalked out of the car and then circled the house, presumably to enter through a back window. If he was shovel talking someone in her house… Ah.

 

“I hope he’s not too hard on Zack. My mom already threatened to neuter him a few months ago,” she told Tifa, lips pursed. 

 

Tifa sat up straighter in shock. “Wait, you dated? Are you  _ still  _ dating?”  

 

“Ehhh,” Aerith made a wobbly hand gesture. “We’re best friends, mostly. Oh, right, this is my house! Want to come in and watch a movie? If we’re lucky, the boys won’t have eaten all the brownies I made.”

 

“I… yes, I’d like that,” Tifa accepted, still looking flushed around the ears. “Red, will you be okay?” 

 

The augmented teenager didn’t even look up from the Nintendo DS Vincent had somehow procured. “If nobody comes out in ten minutes, I’m coming in.” 

 

“Sounds good.” She turned to Aerith. “Are you sure the, uh, boys, won’t mind?” 

 

Aerith waved the thought away, already opening up the side door. “They probably won’t even notice us!” 

 

***

 

“Cloud?”

 

“Wh-- _ Tifa? _ ” 

 

“You’re-- You’re ALIVE? AND  _ LIVING HERE?”  _

 

Aerith watched curiously as Tifa advanced on Zack’s new beau, who had abandoned his Mariokart controller and looked like he was about to dive for a window. Well, this was unexpected by most parties involved. Small world!

 

Next to her, Zack stumbled out of the bathroom, looking pale and kind of shaken. Aerith caught a glimpse of a dark cloak standing in their bathtub, and patted him on the back in sympathy. Vincent seemed like the type that could be really scary! Poor Zack.

 

Cloud skirted around the couch, making a beeline for the fridge as Tifa stomped after him, hands clenched into fists. “Zack, why is my childhood acquaintance in your house?” he asked with remarkable calm for someone who was beginning to climb onto the fridge in panicked, jerky movements. 

 

Zack turned to her. “Aer?” 

 

“We’re on a date!” she told him, exuberantly.

 

“We’re on a date?” Tifa asked, stalled from her pursuit.

 

“They’re on a date,” Zack confirmed, turning to Cloud. 

 

“Oh, you’re a lesbian?” Cloud asked, from atop the fridge. How he had managed to squeeze himself into the space between the ceiling and the top of the fridge was beyond her. Like weird vampire dad, like son, she supposed!

 

Tifa turned back to him, incensed. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD? FOR  _ THREE YEARS?”  _

 

Cloud very pointedly refused to make eye contact. 

 

“What the hell, Cloud?  _ Why  _ have you been avoiding me?” 

 

“Embarrassment,” Zack piped up helpfully. 

 

“Trauma,” Vincent said at the same time, emerging dramatically from the bathroom. Zack sidled away from him very unsubtly.

 

“I’m disavowing all of you forever,” Cloud told them. “Don’t ever talk to me again.” 

 

“Wait, how do you know him?” As Tifa started turning her accusatory gaze on an impassive Vincent, Aerith busied herself with checking the kitchen counters. She took a deep breath and spoke over all the arguing in her living room without even raising her voice. “Oh good, there’s still some brownies left! Zack, put in some cheesy romcom, will you?” 

 

Zack, like the excellent friend he was, recognized her signalling immediately. He absentmindedly shoved a disc Aerith had left out into the DVD player and switched the input on the TV. “Sure thing! Cloudy, you want to go get some ice cream?” 

 

“...Yeah.” Cloud said, despite having just disavowed all of them mere seconds ago. 

 

“Bring some back for us!” Aerith called, before linking her arm with Tifa’s and beginning to walk to the couch.

 

“Will do!” 

 

“Don’t think this gets you out of explaining, at least a little bit,” Tifa yelled, even as she gave in to Aerith’s gentle pulling. “We’re going to have a talk, Cloud! This incredibly cute girl distracting me is only buying you time!”

 

“Right,” said Cloud, who was climbing along the cabinets in order to reach the front door without being in potential range of Tifa. 

 

“I’m serious!” she protested as she sunk into the couch next to Aerith. The main menu had popped up, and was now playing sappy music over and over again, waiting for them to start. Aerith noticed that both Vincent and the coffin Cloud had left in the center of their living room had mysteriously vanished. Good for him. Coffin dust seemed like a hassle to clean up. 

 

“Babe, come down. Aerith banned acrobatics in the house,” Zack said, muffled from the other room, and then the front door slammed and they were finally alone in the house. 

 

“So,” Aerith said, leaning forwards on one arm, “what  _ is  _ your favorite movie genre?” 

 

Tifa smiled shyly at her. “It’s… terrible romcoms, actually. I’m impressed.” 

 

Aerith beamed back, digging the remote out of the couch cushions in one easy movement. “Perfect! Then, let’s get on with our first date, already!” 

 

“First?” Tifa repeated, surprised. Aerith nodded with a hopeful smile, and she seemed to think about it for a moment. “First… of many, huh?” 

 

She smiled at Aerith, reaching out to brush a bang back with one hand. Aerith melted into the touch.

 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> drop me a comment if you enjoyed or have thoughts!


End file.
